i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
