Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
