the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
