cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
