We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
