therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
