He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
