I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My ATM looks so different sober.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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