chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize