No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
