I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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