When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
