she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
