So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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