Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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