Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize