That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
