areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
