Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
