Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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