i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
