I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
