Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
