Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
