What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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