hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
