i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
someone owes me an orgasm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize