Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
