I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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