I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
