He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
