Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
