Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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