i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
