He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
