"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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