Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
