Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
