Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
