who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
