guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
God, I missed his penis.
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