As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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