Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
