Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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