took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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