Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
