I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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