I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize