You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
