stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
