he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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