i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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