Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
