Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
