You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
