Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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