Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
