Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
