i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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