Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
