After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
