C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
