It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
