nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
