dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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