so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
