I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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