We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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