I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
